Women And Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life, by Victoria Secunda
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Women And Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life, by Victoria Secunda
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From Publishers Weekly Heartfelt, chatty, well researched and supportive, this study clearly demonstrates how a daughter's relationship with that old mystery man, Dad, colors the rest of her love life. Secunda ( When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends ) talked to 150 daughters, 75 fathers and numerous psychologists. Young, middle-aged and elderly, these daughters and fathers speak frankly about filial/paternal love, guilt, failure and abuse. These aspects are grouped into thought-provoking categories (though with some confusing overlap): doting, seductive, demanding, absent or distant dads; maverick, fearful, competitive, good-girl or princess daughters. Seconda winds up with suggestions for both parties on improving their relationship, and offers questions a daughter can ask to find her way into the uncharted territory of the paternal heart. Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. From Library Journal Having completed her hugely successful When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends ( LJ 6/1/90), Secunda moves on to the father/daughter relationship. She theorizes that a woman's adult relationships with men are shaped by her relationship with her father. Dad may have been absent, doting, distant, or demanding; his little girl a maverick, a good girl, fearful, or competitive. In any case, she grows up to marry someone just like Dad. Gender identity and sibling birth order also enter the picture. If the conflicts created by the particular father/daughter relationship are examined, then healing can begin. Both father and daughter can put the relationship in perspective and move on to a more mature relationship. This title will be just as popular as the last. Essential for public and academic libraries with self-help collections.
Women And Their Fathers: The Sexual and Romantic Impact of the First Man In Your Life, by Victoria Secunda- Amazon Sales Rank: #275512 in eBooks
- Published on: 2015-06-23
- Released on: 2015-06-23
- Format: Kindle eBook
From Publishers Weekly Heartfelt, chatty, well researched and supportive, this study clearly demonstrates how a daughter's relationship with that old mystery man, Dad, colors the rest of her love life. Secunda ( When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends ) talked to 150 daughters, 75 fathers and numerous psychologists. Young, middle-aged and elderly, these daughters and fathers speak frankly about filial/paternal love, guilt, failure and abuse. These aspects are grouped into thought-provoking categories (though with some confusing overlap): doting, seductive, demanding, absent or distant dads; maverick, fearful, competitive, good-girl or princess daughters. Seconda winds up with suggestions for both parties on improving their relationship, and offers questions a daughter can ask to find her way into the uncharted territory of the paternal heart. Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal Having completed her hugely successful When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends ( LJ 6/1/90), Secunda moves on to the father/daughter relationship. She theorizes that a woman's adult relationships with men are shaped by her relationship with her father. Dad may have been absent, doting, distant, or demanding; his little girl a maverick, a good girl, fearful, or competitive. In any case, she grows up to marry someone just like Dad. Gender identity and sibling birth order also enter the picture. If the conflicts created by the particular father/daughter relationship are examined, then healing can begin. Both father and daughter can put the relationship in perspective and move on to a more mature relationship. This title will be just as popular as the last. Essential for public and academic libraries with self-help collections.- Lisa Wise, Three Rivers Lib. System, Glenwood Springs, Col.Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Kirkus Reviews Another useful, levelheaded examination of a complex relationship. Secunda (When You and Your Mother Can't Be Friends, 1990, etc.) looks at father-daughter relationships, identifying them as templates for future attachments. The ``good-enough father,'' for example, offers dependability, involvement, and interest throughout his daughter's life, assuring her self-confidence and self- sufficiency. In contrast, the ``doting father's'' daughter lacks self-reliance, while the ``distant father''--by far the most prevalent--raises one who comes to expect little from any partner. Secunda supports the profiles of these types and others with relevant anecdotes and some significant research before looking more closely at the patterns of adult intimacy these daughters seek out: Competitive daughters, she observes, tend to find nurturing partners, while favored ones rarely establish satisfying connections. Secunda offers a three-part journey of discovery for daughters trying to improve relations with their fathers-- remembering, healing, and reconnecting--but she's too savvy to suggest that all families can benefit from direct confrontation, especially those troubled by incest. The point of the process, Secunda maintains, is to get past the lingering fear and/or anger and to learn how to avoid finding men like these less-than-ideal fathers. Solid and evocative from the start, with considerable potential as a popular choice. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
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21 of 25 people found the following review helpful. Eye-opening and powerful. By A Customer Reading this book was such an eye-opener. It made me identify areas of my life deeply influenced by my relationship with the first man in my life. The truth in its pages was crushing at times, but also a wonderful challenge.
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful. mentioned in Emotion: The On Off Swtich For Learning By Just Me Mentioned in the excellent book Emotion: The On Off Switch For Learning, by Priscilla L. Vail (see pages 128-129). Discusses the distant father, the good enough father, the demanding father, the seductive father, the absent father, and the doting father. Discusses how the "emotional stances" of adult women may be traced back to what their relationship with their father was like. Very true for me.
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful. Validating and Life Altering By Amazon Customer This book should be a read for every woman who has ever struggled in her love relationships. Learning how the relationship with one's father, or lack of it, has affected your life is powerfully validating and freeing. This book is a huge key to unlocking the past, offering you a brighter understanding for your future!
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