Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski
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Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski
Read Online Ebook Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski
An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all....
Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski- Amazon Sales Rank: #1151 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-06-02
- Released on: 2015-06-02
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 721 minutes
Where to Download Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski
Most helpful customer reviews
145 of 149 people found the following review helpful. The BEST Sex Book I've Ever Read. The BEST Life Book I've Ever Read. By Kate Chopin Come As You Are is absolutely the best sex book I've ever read. I used to buy so many trying to figure out how desire and arousal worked and while I learned good things, this was the book that felt like a warm hug that explained everything and how I could make this work for me. What I did not expect was to learn so much about my brain, and how *exactly* that was connected to sex, and why feeling joyful and content in life in general applies to sex specifically. I'd heard that sex and life were intertwined; the whole "it's all connected" but it never made sense until reading Emily Nagoski detailing HOW and WHY.So all of Emily's blog posts come to life in this book, and every time I re-read chapters, I feel like the science connects in a deeper way. She covers attachment, sex that advances the plot in relationships, emotions, and mindfulness, just to name some topics. My favorite part of the book was learning about how the brain interprets goals and effort, and how you can use that to your emotional advantage to make life easier. (Also, this applies to road rage!)I'd also always read that imagination was a big part of creating a better sex life, and this is the first book to have really sparked my curiosity in a way that I'm intrigued about sex. (I've had painful sex and avoided it for years now, while still desperate to find out how to make things work for me.) The way I think about sex and the way I feel about sex have been transformed after reading Come As You Are. Instead of comparing myself to friends' stories about sex, lately, I'm actually interested and find myself musing on how things work for me to feel so confident and excited about sex. I've come a long way from feeling that I have SO far to go to enjoy sex, to feeling jealous and inadequate when friends talked about sex, and thinking that I'm obviously not the goddess they are because I don't have those stories. That transformation alone feels therapy-huge, to have come from such shame and fear and sadness to curiosity and intrigue.I'm pretty sure Emily is also the first sex educator I've noticed that used empathy to write little notes to the reader about their struggles. I cannot tell you how many times I've re-read those paragraphs on her blog and in this book, because it was exactly what I'd needed and never had anyone else say before. Emily GETS it. And I'm so thankful she realizes the power of what she's teaching, so this book could be possible. I really think every person alive could learn something and feel more at ease in their relationships and with sex, just from reading this book. Her blog is a refreshing on its own, but this book feels like a week at the spa. Thank you, Emily.
44 of 48 people found the following review helpful. Magnificent! By stephen snyder This is an astonishingly good book - written with warmth, wisdom, humor, and heart. Although it's designed to be a self-help book for the general public, I have a suspicion its greater value will be in the fresh and original ideas it will offer to sex therapists. I look forward to using some of Nagoski's assessment, education, and treatment techniques in my own sex therapy practice. The book is also a cornucopia of clinically relevant behavioral science research. I believe many sex clinicians will find themselves returning to it again and again for inspiration and guidance. Well done!
56 of 63 people found the following review helpful. Please, read this book. By SilentSpell If you read only one book on human sexuality, make it Come as You Are. This isn't your standard sex book. There are no promises here that learning one trick will drive you or your lover wild. But there is a lot of science, presented in an approachable manner, that provides great insight into how people work sexually (and, to be honest, in general as well). The book's stated audience is women, but I think anyone can benefit from the science that Nagoski covers in her book, regardless of sex. Sure, if you are a guy you'll read some things that don't directly apply to you, but I recommend you read this book anyway. It is that important.Why? Because what this book teaches you is immently important to your health, your sexual well being, and just general understanding of how you, and those you are intimate with, work. For instance, Nagoski's discussion of the dual control model, or the "brakes" and "accelerator" of arousal, provides an understanding of people can have a different level of arousal for similar events.Nagoski also talks about how stress impacts your arousability, and how stress can affect level of arousal differently for people (some people more aroused, others much less). She discusses how stress worked in the past for humans (when running from lions, for instance), and how we no longer allow stress ourselves to complete the full stress cycle. This discussion of how we, as a society, don't allow stress to complete the cycle is important, regardless of how it affects your sex life. I thought her point of how our method of dealing with stress is to avoid stressors, when it would be much healthier to learn to allow the stress cycle to complete, spot-on and more sensible than the common advice to avoid stress.One important item the book covers is genital nonconcordance, or how the brain and genitals can react two very different ways to the same stimulus at the same instant. I'd argue that it is important not only for couples to understand that, but individuals, both men and women, and for society at large. Why? Because we have this assumption that the genitals are the best, or the only way, to determine if someone is turned on, and it has dangerous repercussions in our society.I'd love to point to any particular section and say that it is the most important section. But I can't. Nagoski has provided a whole book full of facts, research, and understanding that makes it impossible to say any one part is more important. The whole book is important. I doubt you'll get through the book without wondering, "why haven't I learned this before?"Why haven't I learned this before? Because no one told us. But Ms. Nagoski has, in an very approachable, and very readable book. Please, consider purchasing it, and highlighting it. Mark it up and dog-ear it. I honestly think that this book is that important to your, your health, and that of our society at large.
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